What a sad, sad situation
Here's my personal opinion about these type scenerio's; if the adults want to stay in an abusive relationship that has deadly potential - then so be it. Let them bash each other. BUT, on the other hand, these type of individuals usually have children they drag along with them, and that's where the problem arises for me. The children.
I think, callous as it may sound, the adults are extremely self-centered. Where is the love and concern for the well being of their own, eh. It sickens me beyond words.
Decent people are fed up with violence, period. Personally, I'd call the cops each time because I want those type people out of my neighborhood. And here too, we maintain weapons in our home. But the children...it always goes back to them. Yet another generation that will grow up in a sickness that dispite the help available to the parents, will more than likely continue on the same path...that of being the 'victim."
Not that I'm a big supporter of government, but they are so bogged down with the legal forms that if the "i" isn't dotted; the "t" not crossed, can see a case tossed out of court. So where is "justice" for the children? Personally, I'd like to see these people sterilized because they will continue breeding and producing the same sickness over and over and over.
After a few short months of working with child abuse it became apparent to me that 99.99% of the adults did not care to help create a change. What it came down to was being available to take them shopping, etc. The horror stories I heard from those adults though pretty much confirmed what's already known...until the individual decides to break the chain of dysfunction, you can come out with a sense of beating your own head against a brick wall.
And the police...yeah, usually someone will go to jail...do you know the cost to the individual for just getting a bailbondsman? It's about $$$$$ and lots of it. And that's just for starters. The court system runs on $$$$$$$$. Damn, I best not get started on that aspect because on the one hand they profess concern, and some do sincerely care about the problem, there is an attitude of "it ain't in my backyard, so I'll just keep shuffling the paperwork because that's my income.
This certainly isn't a new problem for society. I find some sort of sick humor though from people who profess outrage yet sit and watch such television shows as Jerry Springer. This is stupidity,or ignorance at it's best. The crowd that shouts and cheers for violence and shame with each word spoken. Yeah, we care, don't we. HUMMMMMM.
Hey, my husband was called as a bondsman to interview a man and woman from this small town that made national headlines because of child abuse. Was this anything new for them - didn't the authorities already have knowledge? Well, that million dollar bond was secured by the parent because "jr" really wasn't guilty....blahblahblah. Here we go again, the parents of these adult children continue bailing them out of situations; enabling the abuser to continue without intervention that might well lead to some much needed help.
No, it's not just the abuser in need of help...those who continue to excuse and go back to such a lifestyle are obviously in drastic need of help also. No one is excused from responsiblilty...and few are looking out for the welfare of the children. I'm gonn shut up because I could write pages about this.
Protect yourself that's for sure. I like how someone posted to you about having walked through another door of fear. Many of us have histories of abuse, I'm no different. There is an inner strength to be found when we take the necessary steps for self healing. And things are different today then when my mom was tossed around...agencies up the ying/yang, and yet few will seek shelter.
Peace
Granny